More than "A Wink and A Nod"

I found a post on my Facebook page today that moved me to tears and while very heartbreaking to listen to, I did find hope.

Ft. Worth, TX City Council member Joel Burns took his time for announcements to reflect on the current gay youth suicides and to tell his personal story. I was so moved that I put aside my “to do” list for today to write this blog.

Over the past six months I’ve taken part in a committee of volunteers planning and organizing events for GLBTQ Awareness Month. I didn’t realize six months ago that when we suggested to show Trevor: The Film and OUT in the Silence as part of our GLBTQ Film Festival that they would be so needed. Early on, I received some criticism from a few members of the queer community that said; “we shouldn’t have sad and depressing events” but instead we should be “celebrating our lives”. I partly agree with my peers but at the same time I know that not all of us are in the same “safe place” in our lives.

As news breaks about another “gay” teen committing suicide, our community has slowly began to participate in our version of the “it gets better project”. Members of the planning committee felt so strongly that our community needed to “do something” that we started our own Youtube channel with local GLBTQ and Allies that felt they had something to say and needed to say it. I anticipate that we can bring awareness to the gay teen suicides that have happened in our own community while supporting others currently in crisis.

While taking part in the project (being behind the camera and hearing everyone’s story) and attending all of the awareness events so far, today’s video message from Joel Burns hit me pretty hard. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m feeling the “community organizer blues” or is it that I’m rethinking my own hidden identity to my family.

As I watched Joel speak about his personal story, I found myself thinking once again how powerful the media can be. Because I have friends that will post and send me messages such as this one, I’m hoping that my local news sources will pick up on the story and run it. But I know all too well when it is not “sensational” enough or doesn't connect celebrity to our town, it won’t run. This leads me to remember how, as a young budding lesbian in the 1980’s, I learned about what it was like to be someone that identified as gay or lesbian through watching the media.

I’m having flashbacks to my time in Junior High and High School during the 1980’s and remember that I was fully aware that if I were to “come out” I would not be welcomed. My news channels, locally and nationally, were reporting on the overwhelming numbers of people across the country contracting and dying of AIDS related illnesses. I witnessed the slow agonizing process of investigating and researching what this disease was while laced with a sense of urgency and panic for citizens in our own backyard.

I find it odd that I never met someone that was diagnosed with AIDS as the "gay disease" but instead was introduced to AIDS as sharing dirty needles and the "just say no to drugs campaign". Three years into my Mom and Stepfather's marriage, I was told that my step-cousin, that I had only known for a short time, died of AIDS. This was my first hand experience of seeing just how manipulative the media was and how much it played a part in how I defined AIDS. I also knew to keep the reason for her dying a secret. After this experience I knew that it would take a long time before the "gay disease" terminology and ideology would begin to subside.

Even though my firsthand experience with AIDS was more about how straight people contract the disease thru drug use, I knew what image I was supposed to uphold and being a lesbian was not the “right” way to live. I was confident of my feelings for other girls and I knew I needed to be true to myself but was faced with image after image and news feed after news feed that gays and lesbians will die of the “gay disease” spreading across the United States.

I’ve found myself reliving those disparaging memories, memories I’ve tried to block out of my mind, but somehow they keep coming back. Now the images are returning but they are in the form of young people, dying by way of their own hand. I find myself asking the same questions I heard back then when the President of the United States wouldn’t even say the word AIDS until Ryan White contracted the disease thru a blood transfusion; “How many more people have to die before something is done?”

There has to be a nation wide response to awaken the poor discrimination and harassment policies and procedures that parents and teens face while trying to make their schools responsible. Those that are in crisis deserve more than “a wink and a nod”.

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To find out what your school district policy is with regard to "student welfare: freedom from bullying and/or freedom from discrimination, harassment, and retaliation" and what it covers:

1.) Look up you school districts web site

ex. LISD = http://lubbockisd.org

2.) On some web sites it is hard to find but know that you are looking for some terminology such as "policy online" to get you to viewing the policy. Using the example of LISD, place your cursor over the navigation bar with the words "District Info & News"

3.) Click on "LISD Policy Online"

4.) Type in the words student welfare and click search

5.) If you click on STUDENT WELFARE: FREEDOM FROM DISCRIMINATION, HARASSMENT, AND RETALIATION you will see how your district defines "discrimination"

6.) If you click on STUDENT WELFARE: FREEDOM FROM BULLYING you will see how your district defines "bullying"

There are only four ISD's in Texas that protect students from discrimination based on sexual orientation: Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, & Austin.

These policies are revised as needed to reflect changes in federal or state law, Texas Education Guidelines, and local options.

Find your legislator to ask why some Texas schools include sexual orientation in their student welfare policy and others don't? Is this only a "local issue" that needs to be addressed? How does one local area differ from another if we are talking about students need a safe place to learn?