Straight Night at the Gay Bar

 www.chacha.com

School is back in session and the bars will once again be filling up here in this sleepy West TX town. As the Dixie Chicks song, "Lubbock or Leave It" echos in my head I found myself remembering the questions I asked a few months back when I heard that the only two "gay bars" in town were going to alternate Friday and Saturday nights as "Straight Night". I'll pre-face this post by saying the only reason I went to the gay bar was because my straight friends wanted to go...and then I was hooked!

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Why did you come to "straight night" at the "gay bar"? Do you come to this bar when it is not straight night? Is this a gay bar? Are gay people here now? Are straight people here now? How do you know? Who decides who looks gay and who is not? Is the music you are listening to and dancing to gay or straight? Are the drinks you buy the same or different because of what night it happens to be or the name the bar happens to be tonight?

The lines between gay and straight nightlife has maintained a significant split as long as bars have existed here in Lubbock. Yes, a gay person does go to a straight bar. I should know, I’m one of them. I used to burn up the dance floor with as many straight guys I could find just to have fun and hang out with my straight friends. It was all very innocent because I knew the chance meeting would go no further than dancing. At times there was a "gender free for all" tendency on the dance floor, depending on the song of choice, but there was never enough freedom for two people of the same sex to dance openly with each other. Therefore, the gay bar scene would be that one location where anyone could feel safe and overcome any fears of retaliation.

Everybody, gay and straight, knows where to go for nightlife if they want to find something different, out of the ordinary, and in most instances the most open. Yes, you’ve guessed it, the gay bar is the place to be if you find yourself not fitting in. The straight folks I know that have found themselves at the gay bar, a many a nights, find themselves there because of the music, lights, specials and freedom. Through this mix of communities the lines seem to be blurring and a small circle of people have maintained a working relationship with little to no physical incidents requiring the Lubbock police to show up in force, until now when the place is advertised as "straight nite".

Living in the second most conservative city in the United States, those that self identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer, find slim pickings for an open night on the town. The gay bar life is one location that is available to meet, greet and be "Mary". Over the past year the two gay bars (defined by way of many displays of rainbows, drag queen shows and the queer community) in Lubbock have decided to host "straight nite". Interesting enough it has even been advertised on local radio. On alternating Friday and Saturday nights you will find people being turned away at the gay bars because they "look gay".

Using the distinctly decorated, remodeled (except the bathrooms), gay clientele climate for the purpose of straights only night has brought animosity among an already small gay customer base. Instead of catering to the mixed (straight and gay) crowd that has kept this business actively attended for the past ten years, segregation is rearing its ugly head, dividing the community for profit. Seems that the most tolerant and accepting safe place promoting freedom from ignorance and bigotry now aims to host predominantly straight patrons (distinguished by looks) without embracing the gay culture that has no other safe place to go except another "gay" bar that isolates and keeps gay people locked in a corner conveniently accepting this segregation, thanking their lucky stars for this one sliver of hope that there is in a town this size. The documentary by the Dixie Chicks, "Shut Up and Sing", comes to mind.

The worst of both worlds is occurring as a result of not allowing straight and gay bar patrons to mix at the gay bar. It is my theory that if segregation is advertised, condoned and mandated then friction on many levels is ineffective for all involved, resulting in intolerance and homophobia to run rampant.

It is my belief that, for some, nightclubs and bars are stand ins for community centers. For the most part, people utilize bars with "10,000 watts of sound and lighting pumping the hottest high-energy dance and hip-hop music" to forget about the world outside, allowing free flowing emotions to throw caution to the wind and celebrate life.

Can the owners shed some light on this topic? Can the patrons of these establishments contribute to this intolerance and bigotry by attending? I’ve heard witnesses of homophobic and degrading remarks spoken openly by both owners and patrons alike. I’m guessing the old saying "like goes with like" fits with this situation. For me, it’s hitting too close to home for my comfort zone.