Monday, October 25, 2010
Why do I use the term “gay bullying” and not bullying alone?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
More than "A Wink and A Nod"
Over the past six months I’ve taken part in a committee of volunteers planning and organizing events for GLBTQ Awareness Month. I didn’t realize six months ago that when we suggested to show Trevor: The Film and OUT in the Silence as part of our GLBTQ Film Festival that they would be so needed. Early on, I received some criticism from a few members of the queer community that said; “we shouldn’t have sad and depressing events” but instead we should be “celebrating our lives”. I partly agree with my peers but at the same time I know that not all of us are in the same “safe place” in our lives.
As news breaks about another “gay” teen committing suicide, our community has slowly began to participate in our version of the “it gets better project”. Members of the planning committee felt so strongly that our community needed to “do something” that we started our own Youtube channel with local GLBTQ and Allies that felt they had something to say and needed to say it. I anticipate that we can bring awareness to the gay teen suicides that have happened in our own community while supporting others currently in crisis.
While taking part in the project (being behind the camera and hearing everyone’s story) and attending all of the awareness events so far, today’s video message from Joel Burns hit me pretty hard. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m feeling the “community organizer blues” or is it that I’m rethinking my own hidden identity to my family.
As I watched Joel speak about his personal story, I found myself thinking once again how powerful the media can be. Because I have friends that will post and send me messages such as this one, I’m hoping that my local news sources will pick up on the story and run it. But I know all too well when it is not “sensational” enough or doesn't connect celebrity to our town, it won’t run. This leads me to remember how, as a young budding lesbian in the 1980’s, I learned about what it was like to be someone that identified as gay or lesbian through watching the media.
I’m having flashbacks to my time in Junior High and High School during the 1980’s and remember that I was fully aware that if I were to “come out” I would not be welcomed. My news channels, locally and nationally, were reporting on the overwhelming numbers of people across the country contracting and dying of AIDS related illnesses. I witnessed the slow agonizing process of investigating and researching what this disease was while laced with a sense of urgency and panic for citizens in our own backyard.
I find it odd that I never met someone that was diagnosed with AIDS as the "gay disease" but instead was introduced to AIDS as sharing dirty needles and the "just say no to drugs campaign". Three years into my Mom and Stepfather's marriage, I was told that my step-cousin, that I had only known for a short time, died of AIDS. This was my first hand experience of seeing just how manipulative the media was and how much it played a part in how I defined AIDS. I also knew to keep the reason for her dying a secret. After this experience I knew that it would take a long time before the "gay disease" terminology and ideology would begin to subside.
Even though my firsthand experience with AIDS was more about how straight people contract the disease thru drug use, I knew what image I was supposed to uphold and being a lesbian was not the “right” way to live. I was confident of my feelings for other girls and I knew I needed to be true to myself but was faced with image after image and news feed after news feed that gays and lesbians will die of the “gay disease” spreading across the United States.
I’ve found myself reliving those disparaging memories, memories I’ve tried to block out of my mind, but somehow they keep coming back. Now the images are returning but they are in the form of young people, dying by way of their own hand. I find myself asking the same questions I heard back then when the President of the United States wouldn’t even say the word AIDS until Ryan White contracted the disease thru a blood transfusion; “How many more people have to die before something is done?”
There has to be a nation wide response to awaken the poor discrimination and harassment policies and procedures that parents and teens face while trying to make their schools responsible. Those that are in crisis deserve more than “a wink and a nod”.
These policies are revised as needed to reflect changes in federal or state law, Texas Education Guidelines, and local options.
Find your legislator to ask why some Texas schools include sexual orientation in their student welfare policy and others don't? Is this only a "local issue" that needs to be addressed? How does one local area differ from another if we are talking about students need a safe place to learn?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
God, Family, Lattes and Bikini's
There is a new business in this sleepy little West Tx town, using the same old ways of commerce/capitalism, turning a buck at the expense of others. Ooo La Lattes owned by Joe and Bruce, two “God fearing” and “family loving” guys that just want to put their entrepreneurial skills “out on a limb”, have opened a new coffee house. This town (approx. pop. 200,000) now has, at my count; six independently owned coffee shops competing with Starbucks which has four locations, counting the campus and Barnes & Noble bookstore at the mall.
What’s the big deal? It’s just a coffee shop, right? What could possibly warrant a blog post spent talking about coffee? If you read S. Coleman with Talk Lubbock you'll know what the big deal is with "Hooter-like jugs hanging just right". Also, the facebook page of KLBK/KMAC news channel (scroll down to June 22nd) seemed to have some folks saying that there are those "jealous folks" that need to get hip with the times, as other big cities in Texas have already done and that progress is good, if we just open up another coffee shop with men dressing similarly, in place of women.
Hear what the all female staff thinks of their work environment and dress code, oh, and the coffee they sell.
How was this new business covered on the local news channel? Couldn't get the link to be embedded so you'll need to click on this to Lubbock Online to view the story: http://everythinglubbock.com/fulltext/?nxd_id=56395
Raising eyebrows! You don’t say! That’s an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy deconstructing some young women's argument that tell me “women have come so far, being independent from influences of main stream media” that “we” are in control of how we are exploited and it’s our choice to be in those type of situations, on and on I could go; BUT this story is not your typical run of the mill “call out sexism” type post. Instead this is a story of hypocrisy as the cherry (no pun intended) on top of the sexist cake.
In a conservative town that prides itself and it’s founding morals on being “the best place to raise a family”, I’m not sure Mom and Dad will take the kids to Ooo La Lattes on their way to church for a coffee or hot chocolate for the kids. Oh, that’s right they’re not open on Sunday’s. Just when all those good Christian folk need something for that hangover! Cue “Lubbock Or Leave It” by the Dixie Chicks.
Also, what’s the big deal? “It’s a nice little spin and you need a gimmick to make money today” and don’t forget “different strokes for different folks”.
It’s not new, right? “Hooters” has been doing it since 1983 and their Internationally known and have a Wikipedia page. If it's not new then what's the big deal?
The bid deal is this:
Using women’s bodies to sell a product is sexism. The hypocrisy is that the virtuous and morally principled owners have hit on something to sell their product at the profit of constructed women’s bodies as nothing more than commodities. A typical question that comes to mind with this discussion; does this mean I’m calling for equal treatment of men’s bodies as fragments to even the playing field? No, why would I want to call for men to experience the same issues of body image, self worth, stereotypes, etc.? No, no one gender, race, class, body, orientation, age group, etc should be constructed, fragmented, pieced apart in a manner that exploits their social, political and economic worth for profit.
I’ll admit I’ve only viewed the web site and seen the fan page on Facebook. Others have told me that they drove by with their teenage daughters in the car and immediately the daughters told their Mom; “Those women don’t have any clothes on!” You see; the drive thru window is much lower than traditional drive thru windows and seems to go as far down as midway down her thigh and the top of the window reaches as tall as just under the overhang. On this day, they must have been wearing their bikini "uniform". It did make for a great conversation on the drive home that day and the Mom was struck by how her daughters could distinguish sexism, "in the flesh" (pun intended).
I’m not sure I really need to drive by or even buy a cup of coffee to know sexism when I see it? Just like I don’t have to define sexism to those that have experienced it first hand. The hand, so to speak, comes on my television on the movie screen, even in my daily walk across campus as well as face-to-face acts.
Just in case; here is a reminder of the basic definition of sexism
-noun
attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of sexual roles
If the images don’t convince you maybe the way you order that special cup of “Joe” might make you think otherwise.
- Cup sizes are "B" cup, "C" cup, and "D" cup
- Don’t forget the catchy names of some of the specials: “Tripple X”, “The Push-UP”, “The Wild Thing”, “The Commando”; all organically made. All in all these names can be used in most any restaurant or bar but when you hear them coming from the barista at the drive thru window, flashing you a little more skin than you are used to at a coffee house, you seem to get the pun and point to why Ooo La Lattes is the type of business standing out above the rest.
So, what is the bottom line for me? What should I learn from this new coffee establishment’s “gimmick”? That *hypocrisy is alive and well in this sleepy little town, out in the environment where cotton, oil, football and sexism are KING!
*Note: Hypocrisy in this case equals the context of using women, dressed in clothing attire that would be declined in a schoolhouse but acceptable at a strip club, as a gimmick to attract customers to sell them coffee; therefore exploiting another person based on traditional stereotypes of sexual roles.
One last thought:
Why didn’t J&B Coffee, Day Break Coffee, Sugar Brown’s Coffee, Otto’s Granary and Grand CafĂ© do the same? Maybe they just didn’t have a sense of humor or a creative management team like Joe and Bruce
Resources on sexism by Media Education Foundation:
Women's Media Center:
"Sexism Sells But We're Not Buying It"
Friday, August 27, 2010
I Want My Feminist Music!
I am a 41-year-old “young feminist”. I am “young” to feminism in the way that I am using the word, feminist/feminism, more often in my everyday speak, my art making, and my career choice. I am not young to the belief in feminism and how it has impacted my life but I am young in a sense that I have found my voice much later in life.
Coming to this realization consciously, I decided to use this opportunity to share with others how I believe music and more specifically women in music was a stand in for my voice at an early age.
I was given a copy of “The Runaways”, the movie, for my birthday. As I watched a young Joan Jett and Cherie Currie kick, scream, shout, and sing their way to history, I was reminded why I fell in love with women in music. Music has been a part of my life, living as an open diary, a fantasy lover, a celebration of life, and a loyal friend I can call on at 3am.
I grew up with a small portable transistor radio, when all the hot top 40 stations were on AM radio, an eight track portable player, and a console TV with a five channel tuning knob in which I was the remote control, turning the dial till my Mom told me to stop. These were my resources to take me far away from my life in a small town (population 2,000) in Texas.
From Tanya Tucker (8-track Country) to Pat Benatar (Rock-n-Roll cassettes and MTV) I found myself learning the in’s and out’s of love in a rough and tumble type of “kiss me, but don’t think you can have me” attitude. As I look back now, I think I had many “click” moments of when I knew I was a feminist; I just kept them hidden inside.
The music was loud and blasting out of my room every chance I had. When I was old enough to drive, legally, I was always conscious of having a radio that worked. Radio was my salvation!
With every beat of the drum and grind of a guitar string or a sultry ballad, validating itself over and over, again and again, I knew that I could be and do anything I wanted. I was never told I was living in a feminist world at the price of other women that had come before me. I only knew that the women that were raising me were powerfully determined.
So, who were the women in my early life still speaking the words I wished I could, making me get out of my chair to grab my hairbrush to sing out loud and giving me the words to speak my truth? Here’s a list of just a few that come to mind as I reminisce my feminist music play list of my life. Cheers to all the women in music that remind us of our youth, our power and our passion for feminism.
Roberta Flack (my first 45 record), Donna Summer, Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris, Tanya Tucker, Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac/Solo), Dolly Parton, Grace Slick (Jefferson Airplane), Dusty Springfield, Karen Carpenter, Chrissie Hynde (The Pretenders), Suzie Quatro, Debby Harry (Blondie), Heart (Ann & Nancy Wilson), Patty Smith, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett (Runaways/Solo), Lita Ford (Runaways/Solo), Madonna, Annie Lennox, Tina Turner, Cyndi Lauper, Tracy Chapman, Melissa Etheridge, Stevie Nicks, Go Go’s, Aimee Mann (Till Tuesday), Bonnie Tyler, Cher
Link to listen to a few artists listed above:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLqPwl8IqpU
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Straight Night at the Gay Bar
Friday, August 13, 2010
Q&A with a a Feminist Artist
First some background:
As I'm returning from a long recess of playing with this blog thing, I came up with a way that I can do two things: promote women artist that are alive and working as well as promote my feminist perspective related to art and art making. So my idea is to help promote women artist in the community and beyond that specifically identify as feminist.
I got this idea because of all the reviews and interviews I've been seeing of "famous" artists with massive retrospective exhibitions (which are predominantly male). With a lack of feminist artist interviews I found myself drawn to an online interview by Artkrush (AK) with exhibition organizer Cornelia Butler (CB), regarding the show she organized called WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution, I found myself focused on the last question of the interview.
AK: Is the art world still male-dominated, or is that a thing of the past?
CB: The issue now is that sexism — to use a rather tired term — is more insidious now because it's less overt. Young women and men have incredible access to the system at the entry level. The problem remains that women drop into a black hole at the mid-career level. In general, you have to be either 32 or 86, and there is a desert in between. Also, if you look at the institutional support in terms of retrospectives and major publications devoted to women artists, the statistics are still pathetic.
After reading Cornelia’s answer I thought of my artist friends and other women artist I admire that were supposed to be in this “black hole” of career development. This lead me to wonder, if a good number of my feminist artist friends, including myself, were supposed to be in this black hole of creativity then what is it that their work is saying that may contradict this statement? Is there any truth to this analysis of where women artist are and why they may or may not be visible to the art world? How could I get to some answers to these questions? Are my artist friends that I define as feminist artist defining themselves the same? Does their artwork scream Feminism? How would interviewing them help me find answers?
So, here we are. Post any interview questions you think I have to ask....
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Cleaning Up "Disappointment": Why I would be proud to work with Lt. Dan Choi
First question: why has it taken me this long to respond to Nonnie Ouch’s letter to Lt. Dan Choi? Second question: why do I care what one person living in Lubbock, TX says about GLBTQ activism? The answer is simply; for the past eight months I, along with many others, have been meeting, coordinating, fundraising, negotiating and planning GLBTQ Awareness events for Lubbock, TX. and I am financially and physically vested in efforts to bring local, state and national activist to speak.
Additionally, this letter has reached my twitter-verse and blogosphere GLBTQ/Feminist followers and I don’t want one person’s individual “disappointment” over money appearing to represent the larger body of GLBTQ people in Lubbock TX. I have read and appreciate Between Floating and Leeching: The Financial Struggle of the LGBT Activist by: Zack Ford (-promoted by Pam's House Blend) and What is feminism Worth? By Jessica Valenti. Your critiquing of Ms. Ouch’s topic was well spoken.
Once again, Lubbock has a “black –eye”, and the GLBTQ and Feminist grapevine is seeing why they might want to stay clear of our small city. I am left explaining to those potential speakers why Lubbock TX, conservative as it may be, needs and will financially support speakers like Choi to help create dialogue rather than debates.
I am one of many Lubbock GLBTQ activists that exist in this city of 200,000. I did not see the need to send an open letter regarding Lt. Dan Choi, because I was privy to more information than is public knowledge. Individual negotiation tactics were exposed and questioned. Asking these questions were additional Lubbock organizations, which understandably were willing to negotiate a fee with an agent instead of the initial liaison, first involved. Before this negotiation could take place, state media outlets picked up on Ms. Ouch’s letter.
I have had the good fortune of being part of community planning for the past 10 years. In this short time I have participated in raising funds ranging from small to large, bringing speakers of this caliber to Lubbock. A few years ago a coalition of community leaders and organizers came together to form a GLBTQ Awareness Committee. These members found it necessary to come together after a short lived Student Diversity Relations Department, on the University campus, was no longer in existence. Additionally, as of 2006, there is a virtual Community Center that is coming off a fundraising high from hosting a successful Art Exhibit & Auction. These are only a few examples, of many, that support our GLBTQ heritage, history and diversity way out here in West TX.
Living in the second most conservative city in the USA (taken from the Bay Area Center for Voting Research, 2006), my GLBTQ & Allies community is small but powerful. I thank the founders of the first GLBT Community Center (1985-1992) and the up and coming virtual community center of today, OUTwest Lubbock. I thank the health providers and organizations that have been here all along in small corners and on open avenues. I thank the religious communities for surrounding themselves in the common goal of equality for all. I thank the legal community that continues to represent so many GLBTQ individuals and groups, leading to state and national coverage of the public protest against Fred Phelps and his flock. I also thank Nonnie Ouch for reminding me how powerful our community is, here in a town people pass thru on their way to somewhere else.
The bottom line is; I would be proud to work with Lt. Dan Choi and his agent to bring him to Lubbock. He would make a great addition to our already present activist community that works out of love.
For more information on upcoming events in Lubbock, TX check out OUTwest Lubbock events page:

